Personal Musings
Though I love to make things up and be creative, sometimes I just want to write about my life, experiences, perceptions, travel blogs, and the like. This is a space to get to know me on a much more personal level.
This is also a space where my friends are free to write as well, when they have something to say!
Tales of My Cubawan, VII: Biodynamic Osteopathy vs Trauma
This is the true saga of Bear Wiseman and her cubawan (adoptive son), Otso. Part VII talks about the two times she took him to see her biodynamic osteopath and the unexpected results his gentle touch had on a trauma victim’s inner world.
Tales of My Cubawan, VI: Am I Queer & The Destruction of Libido
This is the saga of Bear Wiseman and her cubawan (adoptive son), Otso. Part VI is about the time Osto decided to test and see if he was queer, as well as his first full-weekend visit, when Bear asked a question that gave him severe depression for a full day and resulted in a loss of libido and a healthier perspective on relationships.
Tales of My Cubawan, V: Sleeping on the Floor & Who Will Keep Me Safe?
This is the true saga of Bear Wiseman and her cubawan (adoptive son), Otso. Part V is about his tendency to sleep on people’s floors, as well as a moment of inner pain when someone begged her not to hurt him.
Tales of My Cubawan, IV: Microdosing Affection to a Trauma Victim
This is the true saga of Bear Wiseman and her cubawan (adoptive son), Otso. Part IV goes into the way Bear had to microdose affection due to Otso’s occasional touch-aversion, but how she also got to experience the full spectrum of motherhood with him, from precious sleeping baby to mischievous toddler, bratty teen, all the way to respectable young adult.
Tales of My Cubawan, III: The Early Days & A Goober of a Kid with Integrity
The saga of how Bear Wiseman met her cubawan (adoptive son), Otso. Part III covers the early days of their acquaintance: their memorable first game of Mörk Borg together, his healthy masculinity and kindness towards women, and the damage done to his sleep rhythm by his abusive family.
Tales of My Cubawan, II: A Profound Cosmic Coincidence
The saga of how Bear Wiseman met her cubawan (adoptive son), Otso. Part II covers why meeting Otso was so important to Bear on a personal level - because Bear challenged the universe to give her a cub, but she wasn’t expecting it to deliver so quickly.
Tales of My Cubawan, I: How We Met
The beginning of the saga of how Bear Wiseman met her cubawan (adoptive son), Otso, aka Modern Day Alien, aka Burning Holes in Time, a traumatized addict who was in need of love.
You Were a Great Liar, Kid… Not a Great Actor
After my adoptive son’s death, it was easy to believe he hated me and our final estrangement was the truth. But the deeper parts of me protested. This piece is a deep, messy, human excavation of what really happened: the fights, the near-reconciliation, the betrayal, the grief, and ultimately, the truth that never stopped living underneath. This is for anyone who’s lost someone during a hard chapter, and still wonders if it was real.
You Could Have Done Everything Right, But They Still Would Have Died
This is the second chapter in a series about love, loss, and learning to stop carrying the weight of someone else’s story. It’s heavy. It’s honest. And if you’re grieving, I hope you know there was probably nothing you could have done.
My Son Died Because of Me, And It Was Entirely Not My Fault
He was my bear cub. I was his mamabear. This is the story of how I loved someone too deeply for the world he came from, and how he died, not because I failed him, but because he couldn’t believe he deserved to be loved. A true story about grief, guilt, forgiveness, and the complex truth of losing someone to trauma and addiction. Thanks for reading.