Personal Musings
Though I love to make things up and be creative, sometimes I just want to write about my life, experiences, perceptions, travel blogs, and the like. This is a space to get to know me on a much more personal level.
This is also a space where my friends are free to write as well, when they have something to say!
Tales of My Cubawan, IV: Microdosing Affection to a Trauma Victim
This is the true saga of Bear Wiseman and her cubawan (adoptive son), Otso. Part IV goes into the way Bear had to microdose affection due to Otso’s occasional touch-aversion, but how she also got to experience the full spectrum of motherhood with him, from precious sleeping baby to mischievous toddler, bratty teen, all the way to respectable young adult.
Tales of My Cubawan, III: The Early Days & A Goober of a Kid with Integrity
The saga of how Bear Wiseman met her cubawan (adoptive son), Otso. Part III covers the early days of their acquaintance: their memorable first game of Mörk Borg together, his healthy masculinity and kindness towards women, and the damage done to his sleep rhythm by his abusive family.
Tales of My Cubawan, I: How We Met
The beginning of the saga of how Bear Wiseman met her cubawan (adoptive son), Otso, aka Modern Day Alien, aka Burning Holes in Time, a traumatized addict who was in need of love.
You Were a Great Liar, Kid… Not a Great Actor
After my adoptive son’s death, it was easy to believe he hated me and our final estrangement was the truth. But the deeper parts of me protested. This piece is a deep, messy, human excavation of what really happened: the fights, the near-reconciliation, the betrayal, the grief, and ultimately, the truth that never stopped living underneath. This is for anyone who’s lost someone during a hard chapter, and still wonders if it was real.
You Could Have Done Everything Right, But They Still Would Have Died
This is the second chapter in a series about love, loss, and learning to stop carrying the weight of someone else’s story. It’s heavy. It’s honest. And if you’re grieving, I hope you know there was probably nothing you could have done.
My Son Died Because of Me, And It Was Entirely Not My Fault
He was my bear cub. I was his mamabear. This is the story of how I loved someone too deeply for the world he came from, and how he died, not because I failed him, but because he couldn’t believe he deserved to be loved. A true story about grief, guilt, forgiveness, and the complex truth of losing someone to trauma and addiction. Thanks for reading.
My Broken Body & How Western Medicine Failed Me Completely
Part 1 of the Broken Body Series: From negligence after whiplash through a few years as a CrossFit athlete, and landing in spinal spasms, my physical health journey explores just how little Western medicine really gets us and why it failed me completely.